I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
