I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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