After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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