He felt like a one man threesome
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
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I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
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I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.