You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon