So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.