i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
