Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
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She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.