He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have fence marks all over my body