Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry