sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center