Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
