So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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