How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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