i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
