my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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