This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
