Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize