Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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