I hope mine doesn't look like that
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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