I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
