chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
