i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
