It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
