guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
