i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
