i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
