Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize