Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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