It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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