Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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