i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
