I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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