I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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