kristin has been a bad kristin
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
