Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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