Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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