idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Where is the hickey?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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