i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
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Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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