Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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