I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
