we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
