That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
