Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
