stop calling my apartment porn island.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
