Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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