he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
