I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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