windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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