Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
