well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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