we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
