Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
