Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
