You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
