ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
