he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dicks are not precious.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
