God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Why is your signature on my underwear?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
