I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
