I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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