She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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