I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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