my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
