Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
