I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
