Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
