I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
