Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
